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Understanding domestic, family, and sexual violence in LGBTIQ+SB relationships is crucial. While many relationships in our community are built on love and respect, there are, unfortunately, instances where abuse and control take over. This form of violence often includes unique and complex ways, which can heighten the risks and fears of those affected. 


If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic or family violence, know that you are not alone. We are here to provide the support, understanding, and resources you need here. 

Domestic & Family Violence Support

The Queensland Government has released  ‘Queer without Fear – Domestic and Family Violence in LGBTI Relationships’ LGBTQ+ Handbook which may be helpful to you.

Domestic and family violence can take many forms. Take the ‘Relationship Checklist‘ from ‘Another Closet’ to assess your relationship.

Domestic & Family Violence Support 

LGBTQ+ Handbook

Thank you for visiting our support page for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer, Sistergirl, and Brotherboy (LGBTIQ+SB) individuals seeking assistance with family and domestic violence. This space is very important, as it is evolving and requiring much more assistance with sensitivity. We are dedicated to continuing to listen and assist as we walk alongside our communities in this space to create a supportive and informative space for all. 

Relationship Checklist

LGBTQ+ Relationships

How is domestic, family and sexual violence different in LGBTQ+ relationships?

Most LGBTQ+ relationships are based on love and respect. However, unfortunately, some are based on abuse and control. Abuse and control within a relationship is domestic and family violence. When present in LGBTQ+ relationships, sexual, domestic and family violence can involve perpetrators using tactics unique to those relationships. It can also involve increased risk due to the valid fears that people who identify as LGBTQ+ may have about disclosing violence.

These can include:

  • The threat of being ‘outed’ if the abused partner has not disclosed their sexuality, gender, intersex status to family, friends, workplace or cultural community;

  • Telling, or threatening to tell, others about HIV status (or other illness) without permission;

  • Applying pressure to have surgery to “normalise” a partner’s body, sex organs or physical appearance;

  • Pressure to confirm, look or act more ‘male’, ‘female’ or straight;

  • The fear of a lack of confidentiality within, or of being isolated from LGBTQ+ communities;

  • A fear of discrimination or minimisation by police, legal systems and service providers;

  • Fear of non-offending parents that their right to stay with their children may be challenged due to different legal rights of LGBTQ+ parents;

  • Financial discrimination that makes accessing shared financial resources of an LGBTQ+ couple more difficult or impossible;

  • A fear of nowhere to go for support that is safe and culturally appropriate;

  • Shame and confusion around society’s assumptions that women are not violent and men cannot be victims;

  • Threatening to hurt or actually hurting pets;

  • Putting the partner down, e.g. telling them that they are ugly, stupid, worthless or incompetent;

  • Humiliating them in front of friends, family or in public;

  • Threatening to harm family members or children, or treating children in a disrespectful or abusive manner;

  • Undermining the relationship between the partner and their children;

  • Threatening to self-harm or commit suicide;

  • Operating video surveillance cameras and audio recording devices in the home to monitor the activities of the partner;

  • Monitoring the partner’s movements.

  • There are many more types of domestic and family violence and you can read about them here. 

DVConnect helps everyone and this includes the LGBTQ+ community. If you identify as LGBTQ+ and you are experiencing domestic, family or sexual violence, please know that we are here to help you. You are not alone. DVConnect uses the LGBTQ+ acronym to refer to people who are from sexually or gender diverse communities and who may identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, intersex or queer, questioning or asexual.

Domestic, family and sexual violence is never the fault of the person being abused or controlled. It’s the responsibility of the person misusing power and control to stop their abusive behaviour. Domestic, family or sexual violence can happen in any type of relationship or intimate partnership. It can happen in lesbian, gay, bisexual, heterosexual, monogamous, open, polyamorous, dating, long-term, living together or not living together and even long distance. It can happen to people who identify as:

  • Transgender

  • Gender-diverse

  • Intersex

  • Queer

  • Sistergirl

  • Brotherboy

  • Cisgender


Practice Guidelines for working with Trans, Gender Diverse & Non-Binary (TGDNB) communities experiencing domestic, family and sexual violence.

This guide was developed in consultation with Trans, Gender Diverse and Non-Binary (TGDNB) community and draws on current evidence and literature in order to improve knowledge, skills and service responses from the violence prevention sector when working alongside TGDNB people experiencing domestic, family and intimate partner violence.

There is a growing evidence base indicating that TGDNB folks experience elevated rates of domestic and family violence, intimate partner violence and sexual violence, and where services in the violence-prevention sector are seeking to be inclusive and responsive, there remains a range of barriers to TGDNB people accessing and receiving support from violence prevention services. We would further recommend Rainbow Health Victoria’s Pride in Prevention Evidence Guide (2020) and Messaging Guide (2021) as relevant and supporting documents to this resource, keeping in mind the specific sector and resourcing contexts in our state of Queensland.

Currently, efforts to respond to TGDNB community needs may be presumed to fall within the policy domains of anti-discrimination or community and mental health, and while these areas are of fundamental importance, they do not fully account for gender-marginalising TGDNB experiences just as these policies do not sufficiently account for the gender-marginalising experiences of Queensland women, Issues of workforce participation, housing and homelessness, and domestic and family, intimate partner and sexual violence remain hugely impactful on our communities, and this is clearly indicated in the statistics shared later in this document. It is therefore critical that policies aimed at eliminating gendered inequality and violence meaningfully include and respond to Trans, Gender Diverse and Non-Binary communities and experiences rather than nominally including TGDNB women and Non-Binary people in a cursory manner that does not meet community needs.

We encourage that the violence prevention sector in Queensland works towards a goal, identified in Rainbow Health Victoria’s recent Pride in Prevention messaging guide, of “…a shared national primary prevention framework that is inclusive of LGBTIQ+ experiences of family and intimate partner violence” (Fairchild et al., p. 6, 2021). The messaging guide goes on to highlight the shortcomings of current efforts to address gender inequality in ways that meaningfully includes LGBTIQ+ and TGDNB communities:

“Continuing to address men’s violence against women can be done in ways that simultaneously challenge, rather than reinforce, the silencing and exclusion of LGBTIQ+ communities and their experiences. This needs to be done carefully as messaging intended to prevent men’s violence against women can sometimes inadvertently reinforce binary understandings of gender, and reinforce assumptions that ‘women’ and ‘men’ are both cisgender and heterosexual.

Similarly, primary prevention messaging specific to LGBTIQ+ communities could inadvertently detract from the importance of men’s violence against women as a social problem. For instance, well-meaning but simplistic attempts to ‘de-gender’ discussions of family violence can inadvertently feed denial of the impact of sexism, gender inequality and gender-based violence.”

Download the TGDNB Practice Guidelines

If you identify as a women, please call our Womensline: 1800 811 811

If you identify as a male, please call our Mensline: 1800 600 636

If you identify as Non-Binary, call the service you feel most comfortable contacting, and let us know your preferred pronoun.

If you have experienced sexual violence, call our Sexual Assault Helpline: 1800 010 120

Do you want to chat?

TGDNB Practice Guidelines 

Additional Support

PFLAG (For Parents)

Parent & Friends of Lesbians and Gays Brisbane (PFLAG) is a support group for parents of LGBTQ+ people in Queensland. They also strive to support LGBTIQ people who are, or fear, they may be abandoned by their families.

Additional LGBTIQ support services who can help


If you want to chat about your situation, 1800RESPECT (1800 727 732) is available 24/7. They understand that domestic violence within the LGBTQ+ community has unique differences.

LGBTI Legal Service

The LGBTI Legal Service provides legal advice and information to clients who have legal problems arising from their identification as LGBTIQ and/or because they feel more comfortable dealing with a solicitor with specific skills, interest and understanding of LGBTIQ legal issues and the barriers experienced by these communities in accessing the legal system. They may assist you with legal issues associated with: family law, domestic violence, surrogacy and parenting rights, criminal law, discrimination, victims support, civil matters, legal issues in relation to government decisions and Centrelink employment.

Diverse Voices

Formerly the Gay and Lesbian Welfare Association Queensland, Diverse Voices is a non-profit organisation with a focus on the wellbeing of LGBTQ+ communities through the operation of the Gay Line and Lesbian Line, a peer telephone counselling service. You can also access their counselling service QLife.


QLife provides a place to talk about mental health, relationships, isolation, coming out, and a host of other concerns.


3pm to midnight, 7 days a week

Open Doors Youth Service

Open Doors Youth Service provides support services to LGBTIQAP+ Sistergirl and Brotherboy young people aged 12 to 24 years and their families who live in South East Queensland.  An initial ‘intake’ appointment is required to access the service. Please call Open Doors Youth Service to book this in with one of their Workers.

Queensland Police

The Queensland Police Service LGBTIQ Liaison Program provides support and assistance to LGBTQ+ community members when dealing with police matters. If you wish to speak to an LGBTQ+ Liaison Officer, please advise the officer taking your complaint or contact PoliceLink, who will identify a liaison officer in your area.

Say It Out Loud

Say It Out Loud encourages people from LGBTQ+ communities to start talking about their relationships, including what is wonderful and unique about them, how they can improve them, and what behaviours won’t be accepted by individuals and as a community.


Headspace is run by the National Youth Mental Health Foundation, providing mental health services for young people aged 12 to 25. 

Kids Helpline

Kids Helpline is a free and confidential counselling service for young people aged 5 to 25 years.


24 hours a day, 7 days a week

DV Connect

24 hour Domestic Violence Helpline 


24 hour Victims of Crime Helpline

Victims Assistance Queensland Financial Assistance Scheme

Claim financial assistance if you have been injured by violence that happened in Queensland.

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